How to find your Purpose? Start with your STRENGTHS

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Discovering your purpose begins with understanding your strengths. It’s not about trying to follow someone else’s journey, no matter how impressive it may seem. Your purpose is UNIQUE, and trying to adopt someone else’s won’t bring you fulfillment. I learned this the hard way when I started my own company for the wrong reasons, and it taught me that true satisfaction comes from aligning with who you really are.

When I coach leaders, I don’t focus on their accomplishments or what they’re already good at. Instead, I help them discover who they were meant to be—their true essence. I ask them to reflect on moments when they felt most alive, in flow, and completely themselves. These are the times when their strengths were shining through.

What Are Strengths, Really?

Marcus Buckingham, in Now, Discover Your Strengths, describes strengths as activities that make you feel strong and energized. Strengths are about more than just what you excel at—they’re about what makes you feel alive and connected to your purpose.

Here’s how you can start identifying your strengths:

1. Reflect on peak moments: Think of a time when you were fully engaged and felt like you were doing exactly what you were meant to do.

2. Notice where you get lost in time: Activities that make you lose track of time often point to your strengths. What are you doing when you’re so immersed that hours feel like minutes?

3. Pay attention to what energizes you: After which activities do you feel recharged, even if they require effort? These are your strength zones.

For me, I feel strong when I’m helping others grow—whether it's guiding my family or coaching leaders to build meaningful workplace cultures. That’s why, when I was offered the chance to lead company culture at TikTok, I couldn’t say no. It perfectly aligned with my strengths: helping others find their purpose and developing environments where people can thrive.

Applying Your Strengths in Work and Life

Identifying your strengths isn’t just useful for career decisions—it’s essential for your personal life too. When you understand what makes you feel strong, you can make more aligned choices in everything you do.

Here’s how you can start applying your strengths today:

• At work: Find ways to incorporate tasks that align with your strengths, even if it’s outside your job description. If you thrive when solving problems, seek out opportunities to lead brainstorming sessions or mentor colleagues.

• In relationships: Strengths often overlap with how we naturally support the people we care about. Are you the go-to person when your friends need advice? Use this strength to strengthen your connections and deepen your impact.

• In your community: Look for areas where your strengths can contribute to a cause that matters to you. Whether it’s through leadership, creativity, or problem-solving, your strengths can make a difference.

Turn Challenges into Growth Opportunities

One of the strengths I’ve embraced is being comfortable with the uncomfortable. At work and among friends, I’m known as the “Elephant Caller”—I’m the one who brings up the unspoken issues that others may shy away from. For me, this is where meaningful conversations happen, and it’s how real growth begins. I feel strong when I create space for tough conversations because it leads to better outcomes for everyone involved.

Strengths Aren’t About Ego—They’re About Alignment

Recognizing and using your strengths isn’t about showing off. It’s about knowing what makes you feel alive and channeling that energy into your work and life. The more you lean into your strengths, the closer you’ll get to discovering your purpose.

Practical Tips for Finding Your Purpose:

1. Ask yourself the right questions: Instead of asking what you’re good at, ask what makes you feel good. What activities make you feel strong, energized, and aligned with who you are?

2. Embrace trial and error: Sometimes discovering your purpose involves figuring out what it isn’t. Don’t be afraid to let go of paths that aren’t meant for you. If something doesn’t feel right, it’s okay to move on.

3. Look for clues: Pay attention to how people respond to you. What do your friends and colleagues come to you for? These signals often point to your natural strengths.

4. Get comfortable with discomfort: Growth happens when we step outside our comfort zone. If you’re avoiding something because it feels tough, lean into it and see what it teaches you about yourself.

Let Go of Control to Find Your Purpose

One of the hardest lessons I’ve learned is accepting that I can’t control everything—whether it’s relationships, career outcomes, or even health. But once I accepted this, I found it much easier to focus on what I can control: becoming the best version of myself. Your journey is unique. Finding your purpose means leaning into your strengths and letting go of what was never yours to control in the first place.

Purpose isn’t something you find overnight, but by understanding your strengths and using them in everyday life, you can move closer to living a life that feels aligned, meaningful, and uniquely yours.